Encounter 2009

There is a name for no name.

I now knock your door with much less preconception than, say, two months ago. After all, panta rei hey - everything flows. The circle is broken, you said - some weeks ago. Then, sweet confessions, as we chew more hours in each other presence. We mark the time(s) as we transgress it. But last night, I have all the traces erased, part accidental, part brutal. Memories are nemesis. Knowing that it will end in some form of sadness. A little sailing, once I tried to give it a name. Act of labelling. But now, as doubt flashing, I shut the questioning. Panta rei - I whisper. Alles fliesst. A fine thing, moving. Let it be. Let it ..... BE.

[to hhg]

MBV Gig: The Review

The Answer: One's Back Traveling Around China

49: Ko/Molting

The Chinese character for this hexagram means in its original sense an animal's pelt, which is changed in the course of the year by molting. From this word is carried over to apply to the "moltings" in political life, the great revolutions connected with changes of governments.

The two trigrams making up the hexagram are the same two that appear in K'uei, OPPOSITION (38), that is, the two younger daughters, Li and Tui. But while there the elder of the two daughters is above, and what results is essentially only an opposition of tendencies, here the younger daughter is above. The influences are in actual conflict, and the forces combat each other like fire and water (lake), each trying to destroy the other. Hence the idea of revolution.


THE JUDGMENT

REVOLUTION. On your own day
You are believed.
Supreme success,
Furthering through perseverance.
Remorse disappears.

Political revolutions are extremely grave matters. They should be undertaken only under stress of direst necessity, when there is no other way out. Not everyone is called to this task, but only the man who has the confidence of the people, and even he only when the time is ripe. He must then proceed in the right way, so that he gladdens the people and, by enlightening them, prevents excesses. Furthermore, he must be quite free of selfish aims and must really relieve the need of the people. Only then does he have nothing to regret.

Times change, and with them their demands. Thus the seasons change in the course of the year. In the world cycle also there are spring and autumn in the life of peoples and nations, and these call for social transformations.


THE IMAGE

Fire in the lake: the image of REVOLUTION.
Thus the superior man
Sets the calendar in order
And makes the seasons clear.

Fire below and the lake above combat and destroy each other. So too in the course of the year a combat takes place between the forces of light and the forces of darkness, eventuating in the revolution of the seasons, and man is able to adjust himself in advance to the demands of the different times.

Taming the Time

I wonder about someone's decision. Staying a bit more in China? Longer? Or, moving on - out and about! - whatever it could mean...

Enterprising? Relocating? Simply resuming the former frontier? Or contrastingly exploring the new frontier?

Whilst on mine, the oracle keeps pointing - regardless the verses it refers - at persistence and perseverence for both link to progress, fortune or success. Whatever each could mean. Of crossing the water, being on the faraway shore.

I am still looking for the soundtrack for this rambling June.

My Bloody Valentine: ICA sets the tone for Roundhouse shows

to (t)here knows when

Wounded Brightness

1. Sunrise

Sunrise.
A foundation for progress.
It is beneficial to persist.

There is creative power, inspiration, or an idea, looking to become manifest. There may as yet be no direct road for realization, though. Persistence is necessary to realize it.

(Changing lines are not relevant here, as there are too many.)

Hexagram is changing to:
36. Wounded Brightness

Wounded brightness.
Beneficial is laborious persistence.

Being weakened. It is good to work diligently on the situation.
(The brightness is the light of consciousness, one's aliveness, one's energy. It being injured means that one's aliveness is diminished, one is being weakened.)


[second try]
27. Hunger

Hunger.
Persistence brings good fortune.
Examine the hunger spontaneously seeking to fill the mouth.

Being hungry for something, having a desire or need. Things go well by persevering. It is good to examine what one spontaneously seeks to satisfy the desire. What is the actual desire? Does what you try to satisfy your desire with, actually satisfy your desire?

(No changing lines.)

[third try]
20. Examining
Line 4:

Observing the appearance of the kingdom.
Beneficial and useful to be a guest of the king.

Examining the social surroundings. For that, it helps to be invited by the leader.

The Fateful 14 May 2008: London 12 Hours

Never mind how I ended up here (one of the Detainment Centre, Heathrow Airporrt, Terminal 3). But I just want to list down the people I brushed my shoulder with in that hellhole, before it is fading in my memory:

- a young, good looking Turkish guy who was denied a student visa but i could clearly look why. he had lived in the UK for three years, studying, but his English is basic.
he couldn't understand my simple sentences, and i always had to rephrase. he was asked by the immigration officer: ".. why you wish to study etc" and the answer was clearly doubtful. without him telling me, i knew that what led him here is the fact that he could earn £50 per day.

- a Nepalite, sweet and pleasant-looking. got here under 6-month visa, and caught for overstaying. he was sent to some detention centre for two months before ended in that spot. he filed for asylum, and was denied. he told me his plan was to just stay and work in the UK for 3 years, and then go home and will never come back. "all i came for is money". he advised me repeatedly (despite my explanation) that i shall not file for asylum.

- an oriental-looking Brazilian girl who came as a tourist, but failed to explain why she didn't have a return ticket, and why she had her professional folder (complete with CVs and a string of reference letters) with her if she's on vacation. she brought some money but it's deemed insufficient for two months traveling in Europe. the verdict is clearly that they doubted her genuine motif. she works in Chicago - under legal working permit. she would be sent back to NYC instead Chicago. clueless who's going to pay. it took her 7 hours to hear the verdict. she's the most chatty, but not long after hearing the verdict, tears finally streamed down her eyes. she told us that the immigration officer who delivered her verdict told her that she'd never be able to re-enter UK or any Schengen countries. harsh.

- a blonde girl from California, who stayed in London for four weeks and travelled around Europe ever since. caught when she was entering from Dubai - according to her, the immigration officer questions the stripper card she has - whatever it means - suspecting she works as a stripper in the UK. she's not slim, big boobs but i agreed with her: she doesn't look like the stereotypical stripper. she's 26. refused to give the details of her parents when asked. she said her house was burnt in San Diego, so her mom sent her for vacation before joining to live with her whilst she was looking for a place. she was entering, crying. i thought she's much older. she's too, was told that she'd never be able to re-enter UK or EU countries after this incident.

- an Afgani girl. very sweet. filing in asylum, using an agent. she said she is 18 but the officer thinks she looks too old for 18. she has no papers - all gone. she's the most cheerful among us.

- an old man with probably his grandson. from Bangladesh. not a word of English. the most difficult to explain. they had to hire a translator for them. the last time i was there, an officer came and told him that he should see a "solicitor" - to which he was so perplexed. by the time i met them, the grandson has learnt an English word, "chips" , the snacks he asked the guard from time to time.

- a young blonde man, from the US. not so clear what. something around not enough money and confessed that he wants to work. whatever. but he was caught, and would be sent back to the us (he said he's on the way to Spain). the Brazilian girl said that he's lucky cos he is allowed to roam the city for two days cos they could not find a flight until friday.

- another young blonde man, working permit. he was the most calm. out in a couple of hours when he said that he needed to know soonish, since he had a gig the next day, and supposed to rehearse.

- a black man, american citizen transit for nine hours to Ethiopia. his was the most blurred a case. he claimed he's detained for nothing. they finally took him for interview, and i caught him in the guard lobby now carrying his luggage. i'm most interested to hear his case. alas, no chance .....

The Mystery of the Wit

Back to Moonwater

I'm back to M/moonwater - the blog and the Chinese film festival. I've let myself to be constantly at the crux of different directions for almost the past four years. Now, I've settled. Here. Now. Expect not only a much more productive mind, but also one charged with a solid, focused sight to the future, no matter daunting and at times blurry it could be. I'm no more disillusioned by false hopes, or unnecessary self-inflicted angst. I'm dancing my way to exciting ventures.

Welcome back (to me).

Duende

Duende: A Journey to the Heart of Flamenco

by Jason Webster


Almost three months after I came back from China; two fiction books (Murakami's Sputnik Sweetheart and Mistry's A Fine Balance); an ounce of guilt of not writing anything worthwile on dance except a few proposals, I discovered a book which anchors on flamenco, and guided me through a whole new perpective of what I previously thought simply as another hybrid dance culture.

Flamenco, as it turns out, sounds more like Dao (Taoism). A way (of life/living). It has compás (rumba, allegria, solea, etc) with always lyrical lyrics in it and dance to express an artform, but down to its root lies its vague origin and its deeper, impossible-to-translate meaning.

At last - I found a door to enter whatever 'spanishness' could take me. Ironically, from, er, an Englishman's point of view (which I could now somewhat comprehend). It's just a start; next time I'm in Madrid, I'd know more things to do. Visit those flamenco bars, and absorb. And probably go down to discover the Andalusian culture.

对生活，为什么中国

Why living this kind of life? and why China? I've got my own reasons, but let's first her what this guy's:

Guangzhou, 22 February 1988

The more obvious far-fetched analogy is this: my coming to China was another step in my attempt to find something I could do in life which did not have revolutionary purpose, my attempt to live without a revolutionary programme, discipline and enthusiasm. That is, in a sense, what an entire generation of Chinese of my age are trying to do now. But of course I have nothing in common with them. I am not doing this voluntarily, and I certainly don't believe that life without revolutionary purpose will accomplish anything revolutionary, as even worthwile in a historic sense.

On Acting Chinese

Jinan, 15 May 1985

I like acting Chinese, and it is no use telling me that I'm not. Acting Chinese helps me, not just with the language, the day-to-day affairs, the bureaucracy and regulations. It also eases my mind enormously, keeps me in serious conversations, and nourishes my intellect far better than the curiousity that Nick's rap always arouses. It makes me feel at home. There was always a place for me among ordinary Chinese in hotels and restos. While Nick had to be treated like a famous writer and painter, and constantly made himself the centre of attention.

[still from the guy - see: previous entries]

老外在北京 ：很多了！

［reflection on being a foreigner/laowai in beijing - still borrowing the rambling of that writer whose name I forgot]

17 November 1984

Why are foreigners so relentlessly solvent and so emotionally bankrupt, so selfish, so useless, so venal and backward, so ignorant and incurious? I know, of course, they are not all like this, and the ones who are simply helpless dumb animals in a foreign country at bottom. We are the scum of the earth, we 'travellers', we are an oily film, ever present and ever shallow.

[revisiting beijing, 26 june to 14 july 2006]

去北京 (我6月 23 号 离开）

[still quotation from the book whose title and author I forgot]

Bell Tower Hotel, Xian, 22 May 1984

Peking is a very different city from tthe pinched, yellow-caked, painfullly poor village I arrived in last January. Now it resembles Canton, It is very romantic: there was a young coouple pawing each other on the bus yesterday - oh, not very daring gropes, really, and she was obviously less into it than he was - under the amazed eye of a grizzled provincial. The staid Pekingese on the bus, like hip Londoners, all managed to look a thousand other directions without looking glances.


Peking, 21 June 1984

Peking, as Louise would say, is really frisky. Full of colour: sweaty workers stinking of garlic eaten whole and raw, wearing pink tank tops, women in glittery and practically transparent dresses, all dressed rather the way I do, without any regards for things te clashing and mirrors, but with a vague eye to the utterly unimitable. People slither underneath the rope segregating the men's part of the swimming pool for the women's without any compunction, and no one ever blows the whistle.

想法 (xiangfa)

Anshun, Guizhou, 1 March 1984

Now here I'm afraid I must do a kind of passacaglia on xiang fa, or the well-worn grooves of thinking in the psychological landscape. I have with me a kind of China guide for the snide, supercilious, slightly footloose college student, purely fore information on which rules are bendable. It is full of this kind of crap, and manages to make China into a small place ful of small minds. On the contrary, China is such a great place that any attempt to grasp details usually loosens your grip on the scale; and vice versa: you are hopelessly outnumbered. But without grasping a little of xiang fa it is impossible to get a grip on the guiding, regulations and reregulations. And maybe, if it is done right, the xiang fa gives you a little glimpse of the image the Chinese have of themselves, and of the image the barbarians have of them.

Reflection 1: Pre-departure 17 April 2006

Budapest 31 December 1983

And now I remember the song of the Gene like so much: 'what will it take - to whip you into shape - a broken heart - a broken heart - It can be arranged - it can be arranged'. Why then is this sense of waking up, of giving up, of abandoning all hope larger than life, always fresh and astonishing and not quite credible? why indeed? Enough of this self-pitiful self-hatred, impossible to get out of or get any sense out of anymore, and I'd rather be in China. I write all this only for ritualistic reasons, because I happened to be writing when the hour of the annual rite approached, and much as I respect your opinion on the matters, I have never been terribly impressed by your ability to make sense out of my own life. It is really asking far too much, since direct experience has always been the source of all my own insights, that you give me insights merely on the basis of my insights. Research is not exactly, as Burt says, the process of fidning that there is no particular reason why you shouldn't hold your preconceived opinions, but it is curiously difficult to make sense out of someone else's records, isn't it?

*) quoted from a book I read in Beijing 2004. Slipped the notes on the title and author somewhere.

T h i n k O u t

pla•ton•ic /pltnIk; NAmE tn/ adj. (of a relationship) friendly but not involving sex: platonic love Their relationship is strictly platonic.

de•sire /dIzaI(r)/ noun, verb
noun
1 [C, U] ~ (for sth)| ~ (to do sth) a strong wish to have or do sth: a strong desire for power enough money to satisfy all your desires She felt an overwhelming desire to return home. (formal) I have no desire (= I do not want) to discuss the matter further. (formal) He has expressed a desire to see you.
2 [U, C] ~ (for sb) a strong wish to have sex with sb: She felt a surge of love and desire for him.
3 [C, usually sing.] a person or thing that is wished for: When she agreed to marry him he felt he had achieved his heart’s desire.
verb (not used in the progressive tenses)
1 (formal) to want sth; to wish for sth: [vn] We all desire health and happiness. The house had everything you could desire. The medicine did not achieve the desired effect. [v to inf] Fewer people desire to live in the north of the country. [also vn to inf]
2 to be sexually attracted to sb: [vn] He still desired her.

Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionarly Online

Can the alteration be smooth? Feasible, might be, but is it sensible to pursue?

[soundtrack: My Bloody Valentine's Loomer, Loveless, 1991]

Treading a New Musical Realm

I'm happy.

It has been a rather musical rich the past few weeks - as I seem to finally find a mate to just blurting out all the long-meant intention on exploring music in a much more cerebral way, moving far beyond the mainstream (read: MTV and the likes). I always meant to do it - especially in the last two years - but felt that I never got it right. In late 2002, I encountered a really passionate music geek on this theme, but looking back, I kind of wasted those precious chance. As he walked by off my life - with all the knowledge still very much encassed in his head - it left me with a huge void, a realisation of having such a loose ends on what could be that rare chance to significantly alter my musical knowledge.

I, for example, did not manage to move beyond the first few pages of Simon Reynolds's Energy Flash: Journey Through Rave Music and Dance Culture nor Kodwo Eshun's More Brilliant than the Sun: Adventures in Sonic Fiction, the two bibles he brought for me. This exceptional encounter exposed me to what Oi! music is [don't laugh], to the fact that voila! there's actually such scene in the capital, in addition to what I've known for long as the punk scene and the ever so mobile indie's.

Anyway, this year's encounter (or last year's to be precise) started with me meeting this young lad from Berlin who was tailing his cool parents doing a stage design workshop in Yogyakarta. He said he plays in a band, and before too long I gave him a first glimpse of what's going on in the local scene, in forms of some CDs (courtesy of the foundation I work for, hiha) and some cheapo cassettes we found to sample during one of those last rounds in the so laid-back city. He then paid a surprise trip two months later, now with his (remains) cool mother, and a trip to Bandung soon drew him to the familiar sound of Teenage Death Star. He wanted to release TDS, but they were still recording, and by the time he's back to Berlin, the band disbanded. Ouch.

Now, proceed to a string of sped-up few emails - from and to my capital and his - which have been pooling some names, old and new. He introduced me first to The Monks, a punk band of the 60s, whose members were the American GIs stationed in Berlin. This is really tickles me, the phenomenon of obscure bands who are resurrected to life online, forty years after their split-up. The wonder of 2000s. I described him this Japanese band with a french name (which I forgot the exact name) from the 70s, who once hijacked an aeroplane and then joined all those legends in the Hall of Fame of Obscure bands after the frontmant mysteriously gone missing. This little story sent him off to a quest of identifying the band, cos I am totally hopeless at remembering, enacting those one-mentioning in the past of someone's passionate blabbering on the subject. I miss it - his blabbering - and him at the same time.

Then, it's the young lad's turn to tell or send me some strange sound. He fast-forwarded to the 2004's Wolfmother, a newcomer (founded in 2004) from Sydney (argh). That'ts where I decided to really read the backdated Wire I've got at home. I just proposed him to do this 'genealogy' study (sort of) together, tracing those influences (the band's version) of other's bands from what they claimed themselves. Wolfmother claimed they are influenced (among others) by Boards of Canada (which was the cover story of October 2005's Wire). From the article, I learnt that the two Scottish brothers love Cocteau Twins, really a gem sound soundbites I had experienced for the first time sometimes in August 2005 (more than two decades late!).

From my office's humble PC, I could only captured the fractured seconds of Wolfmother's Mind's Eye, but listening to their White Unicorn (playing looping on their website), for sure, he's right. Whatever influences the band claimed (BOC or Beck), their music clearly is rooted in those sounds of Black Sabbath, White Stripes or Led Zeppelin. I think, one of my 'eternal shame' is for some reasons, I always seemed to postpone the urge to start knowing at the very least, one of those three. Time to do my homework.......

Quotes on Three States

"Only a fool would prefer to be actively achingly dangerously unhappy, rather than bored. And I am that class of fool" (martha gelhorn)

"Which of us is happy in this world? which of us has her desire? or having it, is satisfied?" (thackeray, vanity fair)